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It helps to understand that everyone has three modes of behavior (some people say that we all have three parts to ourself):
Usually, a potentially violent conflict results when both people are behaving in child or parent mode. The conflict can be resolved or diffused best when at least one person is in an adult behavior mode.
First, trust your instincts: If you are feeling frightened—even if you don’t know why—it is good to be cautious. (Later, you can talk over your reaction with someone.) Don’t do anything to provoke the other person.
Specific signs of impending violent behavior: